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Two Headlines is a Twitter bot that attempts to automate a kind of lazy Twitter joke where a human confuses the subjects of two news items that everyone is talking about on Twitter. An unintended consequence of its particular algorithm is that the bot that also writes near-future late-capitalist dystopian microfiction, in a world where there is no discernible difference between corporations, nations, sports teams, brands, and celebrities. (Source: Authors statement from the elc3)